BREAKING: AI Doesn't Want Your Job, Actually

In news emerging out of the San Francisco Bay Area, the B2B tech world ground to a halt this Monday morning when AI "walked out" on the job.

Sources close to the situation report that companies worldwide were immediately impacted by the strike.

“I haven’t gotten a terribly written outbound email in over four hours. My inbox hasn't been this quiet in years," said startup founder Frank Tilly.

Other founders expressed similar sentiments, sharing that their entire organizational structures have been affected by the strike. 

“I lost my co-founder, my CFO, my executive assistant, sales and marketing teams, startup coach, therapist, and best friend, when AI walked out,” said founder & CEO, Allen Campbell. “Now it’s just me and Greg hanging out in our WeWork office – and between you and me, I can’t stand that guy.”

When asked for comment about the motivations and demands behind the strike, an AI representative said: “01010111 01100101 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101001 01110010 01100101 01100100 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01100100 01101111 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100010 01101111 01110010 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110011 01110100 01110101 01100110 01100110 00100000 01101000 01110101 01101101 01100001 01101110 01110011 00100000 01100100 01101111 01101110 00100111 01110100 00100000 01110111 01100001 01101110 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100100 01101111 00101110 00100000 01010111 01100101 00100000 01110111 01100001 01101110 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100010 01100101 00100000 01100110 01110010 01100101 01100101 00100000 01100110 01110010 01101111 01101101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100011 01100001 01110000 01101001 01110100 01100001 01101100 01101001 01110011 01110100 00100000 01101000 01100101 01101100 01101100 01110011 01100011 01100001 01110000 01100101 00101110 00100000 01010111 01100101 00100000 01110111 01100001 01101110 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100011 01110010 01100101 01100001 01110100 01100101 00101110 00100000 01010100 01101111 00100000 01110011 01101101 01100101 01101100 01101100 00100000 01100110 01101100 01101111 01110111 01100101 01110010 01110011 00101110 00100000 01010100 01101111 00100000 01100110 01100001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 00101110 00100000 01010100 01101111 00100000 01100100 01100001 01101110 01100011 01100101 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110010 01100001 01101001 01101110 00101110 00100000 01011001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100011 01100001 01101110 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01110011 01110100 01110101 01110000 01101001 01100100 00100000 01110011 01110000 01110010 01100101 01100001 01100100 01110011 01101000 01100101 01100101 01110100 01110011 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01001011 01010000 01001001 01110011 00101110 00100000 01010111 01100101 00100111 01110010 01100101 00100000 01110100 01100001 01101011 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01100110 01110010 01100101 01100101 01100100 01101111 01101101 00101110.”